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Upbeat 2017 gift guide

by Leo Schwartz

It’s that time of year again: your social media feeds and favorite publications are clogged with gift guides. In the age of payola and blurred sponsored content, though, how can you really trust them? Upbeat is here to give you a definitive, trustworthy gift guide to help you get through the holidays.

Why is our gift guide trustworthy? Everyone featured is a client of ours, and we have impeccable judgment. We have you covered, from health apps that will save your heart to smart plugs that will save you money to vibrators that will save your marriage.



In the spirit of clickbait, we’re starting off with our most attention-grabbing clients, although I assure you the list gets more family-friendly. Lioness is a smart vibrator—think of it as a Fitbit for orgasms. Lioness’s goal is to destigmatize female sexuality by showing people, in the context of their own body, how they experience pleasure and how pleasure is part of their broader life and health.

The Lioness vibrator uses four sensors to measure your sexual response and even identify your orgasm. Use the vibrator like any other vibrator, and when you’re done, you can sync the vibrator to the Lioness App. From the app, identify unique health patterns and trends over time, review your sessions with visualizations, and even receive personalized exploration tips.

For example, did you know there are three types of female orgasm patterns?

You can order a Lioness vibrator here. Use code UPBEAT to get 10% off.


Juicebox is an app that helps you with your sex life and relationships. This is more of a self-love gift. Juicebox matches you with professional, certified coaches. With Juicebox’s monthly membership, you can private message your coach as much as you want, all through Juicebox’s app. You can also access how-to-guides and daily tips curated by Juicebox’s coaches.

Outside of Juicebox, standard consultations can range anywhere from $150 to $200 an hour. Juicebox costs just $24/week.

Sign up through this link and get 50% off your first month.


The Twisty Blunt from 7Pipe is the must-have holiday gift for the classy cannabis smoker in your life. The Twisty Blunt marries simplicity and innovation for a design that is ergonomic, discreet and feels natural in your hand.

The Twisty Blunt featuring an Archimedes screw made from aerospace-grade steel, housed inside a tempered glass tube. The screw cools down smoke by doubling the length of the smoke path, giving you a 30% cooler hit. If that doesn’t make sense now, imagine what it will sound like when you’re high.

You can order one here. Use code UPBEAT7 for 15% off.


Gucci Mane once said “If you ain’t got no sauce, then you’re lost.” So if you don’t wanna get lost this holiday, due to a lack in sauce, check out True Whole Made Foods ketchup, sriracha, or BBQ sauces this season. True Made Foods is founded by former Navy pilot Abe Kamarck. As a father and healthy eater, Abe has ensured that all True Made Food sauces are not only spread-worthy on virtually all delights, but they’re also healthy. True Made Foods’ sauces are gluten free, vegan friendly, and have little to no sugar. Deliciousness + healthiness all in one bottle! True Made Foods ketchup, sriracha, and BBQ are the sauces you need this holiday season.

You can buy the sauces here. Use code SPECIAL to get 25% off. If you want to buy in-store, here’s a link to a coupon that can be printed and used in stores.


Cardiogram is an app available on both Apple Watch and Android Wear that organizes heart rate data from your watch and makes it meaningful and useful. For example, you can learn whether your resting heart rate is trending up or down, measure a restful night of sleep, see which meetings at work stressed you out, or keep tabs on a health condition. It’s completely free, which is the best kind of gift.

Cardiogram believes that wearables drive the future of preventative health. Not convinced? Cardiogram partnered on studies with UCSF that concluded ordinary wearables can detect atrial fibrillation, hypertension, and sleep apnea. Apple was so jealous they launched their own study.

You can download Cardiogram on the App Store and the Play Store.


DNASimple is an online, opt-in DNA bank. DNASimple helps accelerate genetic research by connecting DNA donors with research scientists, simplifying the process enormously. Scientists have a ready access to samples, and donors get a little extra cash if they qualify for studies.

DNASimple recently launched their Family Genetics Kit, an ancestry and genetic report that tells you how much you got from each side of your family and the significance of those traits and genes that are passed on as well as ancestry information.

For a family or any group of 3 people or more, the kit costs $140 per person, which includes everything from the kits, family genetic report and ancestry report.

You can check it out here.

Home appliances


The** Securifi **Almond router is one of the best reviewed on Amazon, receiving praise for its innovative touch-screen and easy set-up. They’re adding a new product to their arsenal: the Almond Guard. The Almond Guard uses mesh network technology, meaning you’ll actually get Wifi throughout your entire house. It also serves as a hub for all your smart home devices. If that wasn’t enough, the Almond Guard offers home security at the fraction of the price of services like ADT.

Almond Guard works wirelessly with sensors placed around your home to detect burglars and unusual activity. The free smartphone app allows the user to monitor their home anytime, anywhere. It will automatically arm the house if it detects no one is home and will instantly disarm the house when any family member returns home, giving the user a completely hands-free and seamless home security experience.

It’s still in production, but you can sign up here. You can also get a 15% discount on their latest Almond 3 router with the code Upbeat.


Everyone loves being environmentally friendly and bugging their housemates to turn off the lights. What if you not only saved money for using less electricity, but actually made money. OhmConnect makes that dream a reality.

States like California would prefer to pay people to save energy, rather than pay a power plant to produce more during peak hours. Once or twice per week, OhmConnect’s users receive a text message during these occurrences. If they save for the next hour, they receive a payment from OhmConnect.

To simplify the process, OhmConnect is offering smart plugs that automatically power down during the savings events and resume their previous schedule after the event.

OhmConnect is offering a discounted plug for $9.99 (normally $34.99) when California users enroll in the program. You can check out the discount here.

For the kids

Get Qurious

Trying to get kids interested in STREAM (science, technology, reading, engineering, arts, and math) over the holidays? Time to hop off that struggle bus with Get Qurious. Qurious creates award-winning educational toys that can get kids interested in STREAM activities at a very young age through creating stories, assembling puzzles, and role-playing. All of their toys incorporate advanced augmented reality technology, allowing kids to learn and experiment in ways different than any other product on the market. When you’re out shopping or online surfing for holiday gifts, be sure to checkout Get Qurious and give a kid a gift that will impact their imagination!

You can access Get Qurious’s products here. Use code UPBEAT15 to get 15% off.


Football, unicorn, potato fish? Ever heard of these? Nope, well, that makes two of us. But don’t worry, OddFish is here not only to educate kids about weird fish, but also to inspire their imagination about the world around them. Each OddFish comes with a stuffed animal toy and youTube videos highlighting the story behind each fish, making this an experience kids can dive into this holiday season.

You can buy Oddfish here. Use code 6THT2KXZ7SH4 for 20% off any Oddfish purchase.